If you are experiencing domestic abuse and considering divorce, this checklist is for you. Work through it carefully and at your own pace — your safety comes first.
Safety Planning — Before You Leave
- Tell a trusted person your plan — a friend, family member, or advocate
- Know where you will go and how you will get there
- Keep a charged phone with emergency numbers saved
- Pack a go-bag with essentials if it is safe to do so
- Include medication, a change of clothes, cash and any items your children need
- Identify the safest time and way to leave your home
- Have a code word with a trusted contact to signal you need help
Important Documents — Gather and Store Safely
- Copies of your ID, passport and Social Security card
- Children's birth certificates, passports and school records
- Marriage certificate and any existing court orders
- Last 3 years of tax returns — joint and individual
- Bank and financial account statements
- Retirement account statements and investment records
- Mortgage or lease documents and property records
- Health insurance cards and medical records for you and your children
- Store copies with a trusted person or in a safe deposit box your abuser cannot access
Digital Safety
- Use a private browser or a device your abuser does not have access to
- Change passwords on all important accounts — email, bank, social media
- Enable two-factor authentication on all accounts
- Check your phone for tracking apps or spyware
- Check your car for GPS tracking devices
- Review location sharing settings on your phone and apps
- Create a new email account your abuser does not know about
Financial Safety
- Open a bank account in your name only at a different bank
- Do not use a shared computer or device to do this
- Begin setting aside small amounts of cash when it is safe to do so
- Get a copy of your credit report to identify all accounts in your name
- Identify any accounts or credit cards opened in your name without your knowledge
- Note all marital assets — home, vehicles, retirement accounts, investments
Legal Steps — Protecting Yourself in Court
- Contact a family law attorney before taking any legal steps
- File for an Order for Protection (OFP) if you are in immediate danger
- You do not need a police report or prior conviction to file for an OFP in Minnesota
- Document all incidents of abuse — dates, times, what happened, any witnesses
- Save all threatening texts, emails and voicemails — do not delete
- Photograph any injuries and store images somewhere your abuser cannot access
- Request police reports if law enforcement was ever called to your home
- Notify your attorney of any existing OFPs or prior legal history
If an Order for Protection Is Violated
- Call 911 immediately
- Document the violation — date, time, what happened
- Report the violation to your attorney as soon as possible
- Do not engage with the abuser — let law enforcement handle it
- Each violation is a criminal offense and strengthens your legal case
Minnesota Resources
- National DV Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 (24/7)
- Day One Crisis Hotline (MN): 1-866-223-1111
- The Domestic Abuse Project (Minneapolis): domesticabuseproject.com
- Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women: mcbw.org
- Cornerstone Advocacy Service (Hennepin County): cornerstonemn.org
Need legal help? RWI Law is here. Visit rwilaw.com or call (320) 408-2614.
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